Category Archives: Eating Disorders

New Year Sober

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It can be a real challenge staying in recovery at this time of year. Everywhere you look there seems to be food, alcohol, drugs…it’s hard to see anything other than the things you have decided to stop doing.  I’ve noticed this phenomenon before in my life, for example after I had a miscarriage all I seemed to see were pregnant women everywhere.  Believe it or not, this process has a name: attentional bias.  Your brain can take in massive amounts of diverse information, but we would live in a state of perpetual overwhelm if we didn’t have a filter system. So according to past preferences and current stimuli, your brain begins a selection process to decide what to bring to your conscious attention. Thus if you have prioritised a certain topic for long enough, your brain is primed to clear it through the selection process and hey presto: it arrives as a conscious thought.

Thus in the early stages of recovery your behaviour may have changed but the filter system remains as it was for a while, offering up ‘stinking thinking’ supported by evidence provided by your brain’s attentional bias. You need to be able to challenge this primed experience and seek out new experiences that are clean and sober, as they do exist.

It is that familiar dichotomy: listen to your feelings, don’t listen to your feelings. This means that you need to be able to have your feelings, but don’t let them dictate your behaviour. Do not believe your own press, instead stick to the plan!

So this New Year’s Eve don’t wait to be hijacked by old thoughts, make plans!

  1. Find out if any of your sober friends want to go out and make arrangements to meet and go out together as a crowd
  2. Go somewhere familiar – its often tempting to do something different because its NYE, but it often goes wrong
  3. Don’t call anyone from your past on a whim: stay in the present with people you are with
  4. If you do want to go out in a mixed crowd, make sure someone you trust in onside to help support you to stay sober, and lean on them
  5. Know what you will drink – here’s a few of my and friends favourites… ginger beer, cranberry juice, lime and soda, lemonade, elderflower, appletise, Virgin Mary,
  6. Remember it’s the build up of feelings (usually resentment) that fuels a relapse – be with people you can talk honestly to, and talk to them!
  7. If you decide to stay in on your own make sure you have things to entertain you – DVDs or a good book, with a healthy meal and a couple of friends phone numbers to check in with because that pang of loneliness may come and it’s a powerful adversary to take on alone…channel flicking at midnight is NOT a good idea as you are likely to see the best bits of everyone else’s parties and you will feel its too late to call to chat…
  8. If you run into trouble, call the AA/NA helpline – there is always someone to speak to who understands…you are truly not alone: many have gone before you and many will follow, all you have to do is the rest right thing
  9. Get to a meeting on NYE and remember the gift that is recovery: share positively
  10. Before you take any decision, play the tape forward and call someone

And at the end of the day, remember, its just another night.  So here’s wishing you all a very HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope that 2013 mark the beginning of a year that you are proud of.

One year clean and sober, in a letter to her brother, this Charter alumni feels the pain of the family illness…

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“A year and a half ago you came to visit me in one of the detox centres I was in and out of, and told me you were scared I was going to kill myself in my active addiction. You were so frightened I would die and at the time I couldn’t and didn’t want to hear you. I was so in it I couldn’t acknowledge what I was doing to myself or to my family.

Thank you for trying though and for being there.

Today I need to tell you how I feel: Its my turn to feel scared that now you will kill yourself with your alcoholism. You and I share the condition of alcoholism/addiction (it’s one and the same) and what I also want to tell you is this: it is soooo possible to have a good quality life without drugs or alcohol!

Though I am the first to understand and the last to judge how you live your life, I am extremely worried for and about you. Frequent drunk driving and destroying our body and health are just two of the many examples of crazy things we both do in active alcoholism/addiction. I can’t continue to stand by and pretend it’s okay, that’s it’s normal and that’s just the way it is- it’s not okay- it’s not normal- and you deserve so much better. You are a beautiful and very special person who deserves a good and happy life.

Before, I couldn’t imagine a life without drink or drugs- what would be left of me?? I was also really scared to stop because then I would have to face my past and my demons and deal with my issues- I thought it would be harder than continuing to use. But nothing is worst than the acute pain of the shame, loneliness and guilt that accompanies active alcoholism/addiction.

Life is not easy but from where I was, I am now generally content and even often happy! And I feel free of that constant shame, guilt, obsession and control- no more lies, I can look people in the eyes (including my family who I adore) and I feel free and hopeful!

THIS IS POSSIBLE FOR YOU TOO!! I believe this 100% and I am so here for you if and when you decide to ask for help. And we can kick this disease in the ass!

I love you and hope to see you soon.”

Parenting for Prevention

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Thank you all who attended last week’s Parenting for Prevention presentation.  It is without doubt my greatest privilege to inspire parents and those in positions of care to learn simple boundaries that go a long way towards providing a healthy environment for a child.  Plus spotting the danger zones – not getting drawn into arguments you didn’t see coming is a big advantage!  I encourage you all to stay in charge and on your toes around your teen population. They need you to know, to be strong enough in yourself to say a considered yes or no and cope with the consequences!

Don’t forget we have a family group every Tuesday evening and costs £300pa unlimited access, so if you want more, that’s where you’ll find it! Call the office for more details…

 

Charter gains a touch of Alchemy…

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UK’s top Addiction Specialists launch Charter Adolescents

Have communications with your adolescent broken down? Do they seem unhappy or anxious?  Are you concerned they may be drinking or using alcohol or other addictive substances? 

Then Charter Adolescents can help.

Research shows that Adolescents are more vulnerable than any other age group to developing, alcohol and other drug addictions in fact drug use is higher among young people than the adult population as a whole[1], yet there are a lack of specialist facilities to help them.

[1] http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/publications/science-research-statistics/research-statistics/crime-research/drugs-misuse-dec-1112-tabs/extent-young-tabs

Which is why Mandy Saligari, Founder and Director of leading London addiction facility Charter Day Care, Residential and Counselling Centres has joined forces with Stephen Noel-Hill of Alchemy to form Charter Adolescents.

Stephen has extensive experience working with adolescents and young people spanning twelve years working at the Priory Hospital Roehampton and Adolescent Units in Holland.

Mandy has a well-established presence in independent schools lecturing on addiction, parenting for prevention and self-esteem. She has long since wanted to set up a service especially for adolescents addressing the issues that are brought to the surface in these school talks.

“Adolescents are particularly vulnerable to self-defeating coping mechanisms, our main aim with this service is to encourage a valuable sense of self, working with the young person and their parents – many of whom just don’t know how to cope with the issues their children are raising or the behavior they are presenting.”

Both Mandy and Stephen understand that that early intervention and prevention are fundamental to successful outcomes. It is this common vision that led them to merge Alchemy into Charter.

Charter Adolescents is an exciting new service that will do what Charter does best: intensive non-residential treatment and multi-disciplined counselling and therapy. The focus is on early intervention, education, emotional development and appropriate referral to give the adolescent and the family a new lease of life.

With a counselling team who are specialists in this area and experienced in work with young people, alongside Stephen’s expertise and Mandy’s guidance, this service will be dedicated to young people.

Working in groups, individual and family sessions and workshops, after school hours and at weekends, Charter Adolescents is an intensive and brief intervention and counselling service targeted to work with addictive disorders and emotional disturbance.

Charter is well established as a leading London addiction facility offering focused, flexible and effective day care for all addictive disorders at competitive rates.

For more information visit www.charterdaycare.com or call 020 73234970 or email  info@charterdaycare.com

Charter Day Care, 15 Harley Street, London W1G 9QQ

 

Press Information

Addiction Experts, Spokespeople, Advice Columns, Latest Research, Case Studies and Images available.

Enquiries: Jenny Rose, jenny@happypr.co.uk M: 07957 551 697.

 

 

 


 

 

Brits Warned: Inactivity As Deadly As Smoking

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It is predictable perhaps that I believe it to be our responsibility as parents and adults to inspire the younger generation to adopt healthy ways to live. This is not just about drugs and alcohol, It is about learning to live a healthy life emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. I think that we set an example and children follow.  When I work with parents particularly with children under 12, I look at their own patterns – whether that is of drinking, eating, drug taking or generally how they deal with their emotions – and I usually find the root of the child’s problem, albeit displaced. Sadly it is common for the parents to dislike this route of treatment so much that they withdraw their child from the therapeutic process. Somehow it seems to be infinitely preferable for the child to be the problem rather than the parent.  However, that said, I have huge admiration for those parents who do persist.

Without doubt, we set the standard and the children follow. What is disturbing is when our children grow up enough to, in turn, set the pace. Born of dysfunctional origins, this is a route set for disaster. I am not naive enough to believe that this is easy, with many people in the UK without work, living on the breadline, poorly educated and growing up in extremely difficult circumstances. But I do believe, with the right support, we can inspire many of the population to live differently. It is shocking to read that in the UK 17% of deaths are caused by inactivity, and that we are world leaders in obesity.  Are we really that unhappy a nation that we would commit ourselves and our children to such a slow and painful life and death?

Read more here:  http://news.sky.com/story/961527

Charter Residential at Primrose Hill

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With a history of relapse and poor management I sometimes wonder at my wisdom of taking on Primrose Hill as we had such a climate of prejudice to overcome.

Fortunately, under the careful and attentive management of Clare Sole, we have been consistently busy there since opening in 2010. I believe we are now gaining ourselves a reputation by earning it as a boundaried, accountable safe housing service for those needing extra support in their recovery journeys.

We have 10 beds and admit males and females from 18-65 years at different stages of their recovery, as long as they are abstinent and actively engaged in a 12 step programme or in treatment. It’s a lovely mid terrace Victorian house, has a support worker in residence and provides a temporary home from home.

We provide drug and alcohol testing, weekly planning and support, cooking support, an introduction to fellowship, community living with therapeutic duties, curfews and peer responsibilities.

Alongside treatment, or as extra support through transitions geographically, work-wise or relationship-wise, Charter Residential provides an extraordinary service that is affordable, effective and grounding.

We work with you to get well in the context of your life.

Specialist Eating Disorder Services Needed

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Eating disorders are about the relationship between food and emotions, where a person seeks a sense of control over their emotions, over how they appear and over the impact their world has on them. It is common for an eating disorder to develop in a person’s early teens and so it would seem appropriate for there to be services specifically targeted for this age group. CAHMS do a great job, and I have met many people who have benefited from time with this service, but eating disorders – and addictions in general – require specialist knowledge and intervention. This is not about simply getting someone to eat, it’s about attending to the disturbance of self and your typical eating disorder will be extremely reluctant to put their eating disorder down. I think Helen Missen raises a very important issue in this report and I for one would be a willing signature on her petition.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-18755034

The Mindful Kitchen

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One evening a week sees a pair of young addicts shopping at Waitrose and then standing over a hot stove at Charter for two hours as they seek to produce a delicious and simple meal.

Welcome to The Mindful Kitchen, brainwave of trained chef, Noha Moukarzel, and trialed at Charter, this weekly workshop has been developed to help teach addicts in recovery how to cook healthy, achievable meals for themselves as part of a daily routine.

A fundamental part of self-care and self-love is nutrition. Many of us who do not suffer from addiction are guilty of neglecting this vital dimension of our daily needs. And those who suffer from a condition of self-loathing and unmanageability are vulnerable to these same self-defeating patterns to the point of self-harm.

Whether you suffer from an eating disorder or from disordered eating due to low self-esteem, lack of motivation and care, The Mindful Kitchen is a breath of fresh air teaching practical skills and inspiring possibility.

Fiona Geraghty

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I was very sad to read the reports of 14 year old school girl, Fiona Geraghty’s tragic suicide due to bullying over her weight. She was bulimic. I was bullied at school and I know how lonely and desperate it can feel. I also know the risky means I took to try and cope. It is heartbreaking that this beautiful young girl took such drastic measures to alleviate her overwhelming feelings of self loathing. It is appalling too that despite public school resources and professional help she slipped through the net. Too easy to happen, too easy to believe the feeling of hopelessness, to listen to the illness  and become a casualty of this treacherous condition.  For me news like this spurs me on in my intent to go the extra mile in our work at Charter and in schools, and to remind all those that will listen that we are responsible for Step 12….there is hope and it lives in every one of us who is committed to walking the walk…we can do what I can’t. Pray for her family who will feel such a huge loss…I will –  there but for the grace of God go mine.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-18521916 

Recovery from anorexia is more than eating, but it has to happen…

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Anorexia is a complex illness often borne of trauma experienced in the early developmental stages of a person’s life.  It is an illness related to a desperate need for control when there has been a painful experience alongside feelings of lack of control. That control is then displaced to food intake which in turn can make a person feel powerful that they don’t need food…translate this as not needing anything – love, attention, friends… Thus the anorexic is god, apparently surpassing and denying basic human need – this then feels safe.  Eating awakens an appetite, and this can leave the anorexic (unconsciously) terrified that their entire coping mechanism is breaking down. Crazy as it may seem an anorexic will opt for the paradoxical safety of starvation rather than the terror of being human and therefore vulnerable. This lady who the court has ruled should be force fed to save her life should also be provided with counselling – intensive, qualified, experienced anorexia and trauma counselling – to make the force feeding worthwhile and not just another abusive act that she tolerates until she can kill herself in another way. I do believe that ‘no hopers’ can get well and I have witnessed the miracle many times. But always the key to the miracle is to inspire from the inside. Battering on the outside only reinforces the defences…I hope she can ALSO find someone she can talk to and work with.

See more of this story at  http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2012/jun/15/anorexic-woman-fed-judge?newsfeed=true