This bank holiday was one of the best weekends I have had in a very long time. It was an unusually busy weekend filled with socialising, a boot fair, drop off and pick up for sleepovers and ending with a family bar-b-q yesterday. Just as I placed the finishing touches to the table outside, the heavens opened. But I was with friends, it didn’t really matter and within an hour we were basking in sunshine. I was with my family, my husband and our children, his parents and my mother as well as old friends, and some of my team from Charter. It was a sober event, but you would never have known it from the raucous laughter and excited storytelling over a lunch that extended across the afternoon. Later as we sat and talked, the conversations became more meaningful until impatient children urged us onto the lawn to play cricket where we remained at their mercy until it was dark and the rain sent us inside once again. I am so very grateful to be sober, to have connection with others that feels honest, to be able to be there for and with my children and to feel.

Recent published research proves that Cannabis use affects the teen brain permanently showing a permanent reduction in brain capacity of 20%. The teen brain is vulnerable and growing so of course any chemical will affect its growth and development: obvious really.

Although this is shocking news, and terrifying to those of us with children in particular, I am relieved to have confirmed unequivocably by research what is already many in my field’s experience: we KNOW that cannabis causes long-term detrimental effect because we SEE it in our client population.

What is of concern is that we are speaking against a tide of popular culture where our voices are drowned out and our teen population – our future – continue to use and abuse substances under the banner of a ‘teenage rite of passage’ ameliorated by the denial of a nation that ‘ everybody does it’ and ‘its only a bit of spliff’.

Because the arrogant and bullying approach of those using is to behave as if they are superior because of their drug use, it is very very difficult to stand out in any way, let alone as apparently square, scared, not cool. How high the cost not just to fit in but not to stand out. It reminds me of the experience of many teens I speak to in schools across the country who feel embarrassed and humiliated to say ‘No’! This population need our support.

Taking drugs doesn’t make you clever, cool or brave…it makes you stoned at best, addicted and dependent at worst; and now we know it causes long term brain damage too.

The peer pressure around this culture needs challenging. In my experience – which is extensive – Cannabis is a gateway drug and not only that it is now also proven to be permanently damaging. Wake up parents, siblings, teachers, I think the real power happens in the homes and schools. We have influence and I believe you are either in the solution or the problem; with addiction there is no middle ground: where are you?

Honesty is the best policy. Deviation from the truth is a smear on your integrity no matter what the justification; its a slippery slope. The more you lie (or should I say ‘adjust the truth’) the less accurately you represent yourself, the less others know you, the more likely you are to feel isolated and misunderstood; then its  a short walk to loss of confidence and loss of sense of who you are. Then who knows what you might do to feel better…?   I know that life is not group therapy (sadly!!!) so this is not about marching around saying whatever is on your mind without consequence (by the way in group  therapy there are consequences!) : that would be self indulgent! No, I am advocating the kind of honesty that allows you to be present without shame and for the other person to truly know you.  Its called INTIMACY. This takes self knowledge and of course creates self knowledge too! It takes courage and creates confidence; it means the friends you have actually know you and love you for who you are – gold dust! Take the risk to be honest, recognise your own judgements as you do, and try really hard to welcome the response!