Mandy and Professor David Nutt Discuss UK Drug Policy

Good Morning Wales, with presenters Oliver Hides and Bethan Rhys Roberts have had a specialised set of programmes focusing on Drug Policy in Wales and the UK.

Friday saw the series conclude with an outside broadcast and a discussion about UK wide drug policy with Mandy Saligari and Professor David Nutt taking part.

Listen to the interview click link :  BBC Radio

ACOA

ACOA is an anachronism for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Nowadays you can replace ‘Alcoholics’ for ‘Addicts’ to include children from families suffering from any addiction – the impact is the same.

Guilty fury, self-sufficiency and insecurity are core characteristics of this condition, developed in the child who grows up in a family where addiction is present. For ‘addiction’ in families, read ‘inconsistent parenting in a culture of persistent low self-esteem and blame, where the parent uses something outside of themselves to prop them up and it causes damage’. Addiction is NOT all about the manifestations, though this is where the attention most often falls, eg drinking or using drugs. Of course in these cases the damages are very clear. But that is not the extent of the addictive condition, simply the most visible.

I believe we need to wake up to the extensive reach addiction has into today’s society. It is a human condition out of whack. It is where emotions and behaviour pitch into the extremes, and more of you out there are addicts than I suspect would admit it. Active denial is fundamental in maintaining an addictive status quo. Denial is minimising, exaggerating, generalising, universalising…making what ‘is’ into something else so it can be overlooked, swept under the carpet. Examples of this are ‘Everybody does it’ ‘its not that bad’ ‘I only did it once’ etc etc.

At the risk of coming across like the anti fun squad (though those of you who know me will KNOW this is about as far from the truth as possible) the way we behave in this society as parents is fostering a culture of neglect, self sufficiency, arrogance, entitlement, grandiosity, low self esteem and self centredness in our children. For example we do not seem to encourage boundaries (life on life’s terms as opposed to life on the child’s terms) as so many parents are too busy so it suits them to leave the child to their own devices, or too afraid to meet their disapproval. Trouble is coming in the form of Adult Children of dysfunctional family environments and until we accept addiction in broader terms sustainable change can never happen.

So it will continue to get worse; we are more likely to continue to scapegoat at the fire-fighting end where addiction looks like drugs and alcohol, introducing measures to mitigate for damages. We are in danger of seeing addiction through these eyes and trying to control this out of control condition. Instead let us move our attention to the broader view, where addiction operates within families in the form of eg sex and love addiction, co-dependence, (childhood relational trauma, all grown up), gambling (maybe ‘fiscally successfully’), exercise, shopping…or better still to educate people around the core characteristics of expectations, isolation, resentment and blame. To wake someone up to the grandiosity of believing they always know best about somebody else; or to the well-oiled victim position that plays their family and friends invisibly like a master puppeteer, so that you feel sorry for them, adopting a position of what you think is compassion, but is actually judgment and enablement.  I could go on.

It is frustrating when I talk to people of influence who still regard addiction as about drugs or alcohol, gambling or work. It is so much more, so deeply entrenched and we as a society are so very blind.

Please note recent article below by Clare Fallon, Sky News Reporter

The National Association for Children of Alcoholics receives more than 4,500 calls a year – many from under 18s who are struggling to cope.

Their youngest ever caller was a five-year-old girl whose alcohol-dependent mother had committed suicide in the bathroom.

Hilary Henriques, one of the founders of the charity, warns the recession has only made the situation worse with addicts drinking to cope with financial pressure and in turn struggling to fund their alcohol problem.

She said: “Alcoholics who drink don’t choose to drink. Drink is how they get through the day.”

Martin Williams is one of the alcoholic parents the charity has helped.

He describes how his relationship with alcohol became more important that his relationship with his two children.

“They stopped becoming the priority. The drink became the priority. And you try and juggle the two,” he said.

Now though, he has been off the drink for more than three years and says his children are getting their dad back – an improved, sober version.

The most recent figures show around one-fifth of children are living with someone drinking dangerous amounts of alcohol.

According to research, the impact of having an alcoholic parent can be lifelong, with significantly increased chances of developing mental health problems and eating disorders.

Children of alcoholics are also more likely to get into trouble with police and develop a drink problem themselves.

Rosey, 20, has now moved out of home and is studying at university.

While her flatmates enjoy a typical student lifestyle, she does not touch alcohol and says does not think she ever will.

Rosey’s father has been an alcoholic as long as she can remember.

She describes how she never invited school friends back home because she did not what them to meet her “slurring and rocking” dad.

She says she has given up thinking it’s her job to try to help him.

The charity Children of Addicted People and Parents said such situations are common.

Its founding director Emma Spiegler describes the situation faced by many youngsters as “a hell hole with no escape”.

But she insists with help and support children can come through it.

“Together we can help to break the silence, secrecy and stigma young people keep bottled up inside,” she said.

See also:

www.adultchildren.org   www.drugfam.co.uk

 

New Year Sober

It can be a real challenge staying in recovery at this time of year. Everywhere you look there seems to be food, alcohol, drugs…it’s hard to see anything other than the things you have decided to stop doing.  I’ve noticed this phenomenon before in my life, for example after I had a miscarriage all I seemed to see were pregnant women everywhere.  Believe it or not, this process has a name: attentional bias.  Your brain can take in massive amounts of diverse information, but we would live in a state of perpetual overwhelm if we didn’t have a filter system. So according to past preferences and current stimuli, your brain begins a selection process to decide what to bring to your conscious attention. Thus if you have prioritised a certain topic for long enough, your brain is primed to clear it through the selection process and hey presto: it arrives as a conscious thought.

Thus in the early stages of recovery your behaviour may have changed but the filter system remains as it was for a while, offering up ‘stinking thinking’ supported by evidence provided by your brain’s attentional bias. You need to be able to challenge this primed experience and seek out new experiences that are clean and sober, as they do exist.

It is that familiar dichotomy: listen to your feelings, don’t listen to your feelings. This means that you need to be able to have your feelings, but don’t let them dictate your behaviour. Do not believe your own press, instead stick to the plan!

So this New Year’s Eve don’t wait to be hijacked by old thoughts, make plans!

  1. Find out if any of your sober friends want to go out and make arrangements to meet and go out together as a crowd
  2. Go somewhere familiar – its often tempting to do something different because its NYE, but it often goes wrong
  3. Don’t call anyone from your past on a whim: stay in the present with people you are with
  4. If you do want to go out in a mixed crowd, make sure someone you trust in onside to help support you to stay sober, and lean on them
  5. Know what you will drink – here’s a few of my and friends favourites… ginger beer, cranberry juice, lime and soda, lemonade, elderflower, appletise, Virgin Mary,
  6. Remember it’s the build up of feelings (usually resentment) that fuels a relapse – be with people you can talk honestly to, and talk to them!
  7. If you decide to stay in on your own make sure you have things to entertain you – DVDs or a good book, with a healthy meal and a couple of friends phone numbers to check in with because that pang of loneliness may come and it’s a powerful adversary to take on alone…channel flicking at midnight is NOT a good idea as you are likely to see the best bits of everyone else’s parties and you will feel its too late to call to chat…
  8. If you run into trouble, call the AA/NA helpline – there is always someone to speak to who understands…you are truly not alone: many have gone before you and many will follow, all you have to do is the rest right thing
  9. Get to a meeting on NYE and remember the gift that is recovery: share positively
  10. Before you take any decision, play the tape forward and call someone

And at the end of the day, remember, its just another night.  So here’s wishing you all a very HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope that 2013 mark the beginning of a year that you are proud of.

Illness

Couldn’t believe it…as I turned the key behind me on Friday night, I almost immediately felt ill. Over the 2 hours commute home I felt worse and worse and by the time I got back I could barely walk. I took cold and flu capsules and took to my bed, only to wake the next morning with a ferocious cough and cold that left me breathless. But I had been meticulously working towards this week for months and was going to put up a fight!

Being ill is always a challenge for people in recovery.  Do you take the meds or not? Should you take ones that make you drowsy or contain codeine? Not a great idea… So where is your bottom line?

Thankfully I have had the good fortune to know an amazing natural healer who has shared many secrets with me over the years, one of which I shall share with you now…

A drink that tastes FAR better than it sounds (it couldn’t taste worse!), this will boost your immune system, and protect many of your main organs including the heart and the liver (it will also get you socially rejected…don’t take it personally!).

Whizz: 3 peeled garlic cloves, 2 unpeeled carrots I stick of celery with leaves, I medium tomato, 1scrubbed sweet potato, unpeeled, & cut into sticks, ½ deseeded Jalepeno pepper, a thumb length of white radish and add water for texture.

Drink twice a day for 3 days!

Good health and happy Christmas!

One year clean and sober, in a letter to her brother, this Charter alumni feels the pain of the family illness…

“A year and a half ago you came to visit me in one of the detox centres I was in and out of, and told me you were scared I was going to kill myself in my active addiction. You were so frightened I would die and at the time I couldn’t and didn’t want to hear you. I was so in it I couldn’t acknowledge what I was doing to myself or to my family.

Thank you for trying though and for being there.

Today I need to tell you how I feel: Its my turn to feel scared that now you will kill yourself with your alcoholism. You and I share the condition of alcoholism/addiction (it’s one and the same) and what I also want to tell you is this: it is soooo possible to have a good quality life without drugs or alcohol!

Though I am the first to understand and the last to judge how you live your life, I am extremely worried for and about you. Frequent drunk driving and destroying our body and health are just two of the many examples of crazy things we both do in active alcoholism/addiction. I can’t continue to stand by and pretend it’s okay, that’s it’s normal and that’s just the way it is- it’s not okay- it’s not normal- and you deserve so much better. You are a beautiful and very special person who deserves a good and happy life.

Before, I couldn’t imagine a life without drink or drugs- what would be left of me?? I was also really scared to stop because then I would have to face my past and my demons and deal with my issues- I thought it would be harder than continuing to use. But nothing is worst than the acute pain of the shame, loneliness and guilt that accompanies active alcoholism/addiction.

Life is not easy but from where I was, I am now generally content and even often happy! And I feel free of that constant shame, guilt, obsession and control- no more lies, I can look people in the eyes (including my family who I adore) and I feel free and hopeful!

THIS IS POSSIBLE FOR YOU TOO!! I believe this 100% and I am so here for you if and when you decide to ask for help. And we can kick this disease in the ass!

I love you and hope to see you soon.”

Minimum Price for Alcohol

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2012/nov/28/45p-minimum-alcohol-price-crime

I completely support a minimum price for alcohol of 50p per unit, and welcome the introduction of 45p. I hope it doesn’t stop there. Research shows that money plays a big part in young drinkers and heavy drinkers where quality is not the point, getting drunk is the sole goal, but we need to not only make it difficult for these drinkers to achieve this but also support them to work through whatever their time bomb is that drives them to binge drink in the first place.

 

Alcohol and pregnancy …the effect of ‘ordinary drinkers’ on the unborn child

This article tells us what we need to hear and not what we want to hear: i.e. drinking AT ALL when pregnant affects the unborn child’s IQ.

We are not talking about alcoholic drinking or binge drinking either. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is a well-documented, permanent severe mental and physical consequence for the child of heavy drinking by mother during pregnancy. But this is not where this research is aimed.  No, this research relates to a couple of glasses of wine a week!

When pregnant, women often report feeling different and separate from the group, as well as stressed, uncertain, out of sorts and under pressure.  It may feel hard enough without also not being able to drink a glass of wine ‘to relax’.  But this research suggests that the price you may pay ‘to relax or feel part of’ may actually be too high. IQ is not just intelligence, it represents the ability to interact and understand; a powerful influence in self-esteem. Your child may pay with his or her quality of life for your need to use alcohol for 9 months. Not a balanced equation no matter what your mathematic ability!

So we need to support women – and maybe even more ambitiously our society – to find other ways to relax so that alcohol steps down from top slot of how to clock off.  It is a depressant, it causes accidents, is fundamental in many severe health problems, causes long term and debilitating mental health issues, and now we can see that it impacts on our future generation’s IQ before it is even born.

With such compelling evidence around negative impact of alcohol on the unborn child we must invest in other strategies. We need to learn how to stop, pause, take a breath so that all that we strive for and invite into our lives doesn’t drown us in its administration and relentless rhythm. In pregnancy we lay the foundations for the child’s profile as well as for our relationship with him or her, and those 9 months should not be overlooked nor taken for granted. In fact they are an opportunity for investment!  Mindfulness Meditation is a powerful method that focuses on the breath and helps to alleviate anxiety, pressure and even craving by letting go of thoughts and feelings without banishing them or trying to control them. It can help make mental and emotional space to forge a connection between the unborn baby and its mother as well as to gain essential perspective. Similarly pregnancy yoga provides a proactive engagement with the changing body and mind, and has proven positive health benefits, pregnant or not. Laughing, singing, dancing, exercise have also all been widely researched and promoted in their positive effect on well-being.

Be in the solution…

Read more here:  http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2012/nov/14/iq-study-drinking-alcohol-pregnancy

National Treatment Agency warns club drug users

I read this article with great interest. I have worked with many club drug users and it does demand a different approach insomauch as it is crucial to attend to the person in relation to their peer group as a fundamental part of treatment. Like with any other drug dependence, we have to help the person get abstinent, but for this to be sustainable, they must learn how to allow themselves to have fun, socialise, dance and meet people clean.  So many people relapse (or live miserably) because they just cannot function socially without the drug – it becomes a choice between sober isolation of drug affected interaction. It’s not easy to overcome social anxiety at the best of times, but when your ability has been propped up by years of drug use, it can feel impossible.  Working to develop a strong sense of who you are, your own sense of humour, a comfort in your skin so you can stand without feeling self conscious, dance without reservation, chat with less fear is fundamental to a successful and wholehearted recovery.

Read the full article:  http://www.nta.nhs.uk/Club%20drugs%20report%202012.aspx

Outside Edge

I have just had the great pleasure of spending the afternoon on a houseboat in Chelsea at an intimate showing by Outside Edge of excerpts from Jerusalem, performed by Mark Rylance, and three others from this pioneering theatre company.

Outside Edge is the brainchild of Phil Fox who, with the vital support of David Charkham and trustees Simon Woodruffe of Yo! and Led Zepplin’s Jimmy Page, takes productions that are written to mirror the audience’s story, into treatment and prison settings. The way it works is in a way like an extended role-play, so that the audience is encouraged to interact with the actors and affect the process and ending by responding to the script and action as the performance goes along.

Role-play is a fundamental part of the programme at Charter and for my work in schools, so that a person inhabits the other persons skin, walks for a moment in another persons shoes…you could call it momentary other centredness and it works like magic (most of the time!) Outside Edge does this in a structured way on a bigger scale, though it remains simple and personal, and very accessible.

Simon Woodruffe and Mark Rylance spoke with commitment and passion for a society where this kind of resource is available to everyone, and I echo this; access to the resources and benefits of recovery should not be marginalized to the world of severe addiction.

Prevention is better than cure, early intervention is key, and inspiration and education can play a huge part in changing the direction of a young persons life. Outside Edge, like many of us in the recovery community, has a powerful resource at its fingertips with a much wider application than addiction. I am in no doubt that the 12 steps helped me to recover from completely losing hope when I fell foul of severe Rheumatoid Arthritis. There is so much more we can do with what we have if we all join hands and work together…I’m in…

‘Functional Alcoholics’…an oxymoron fuelling denial

If you are alcoholic you cannot function as a whole person. That is one definition of the condition. There is a behaviour in place (alcohol) that compensates for an emotional need (eg stress, self esteem, intimacy) that has become a need in its own right (continued drinking) so that this emotional need does not leak into the real world. Thus the person is not really known by those ‘close’ to them, as they perpetuate an image, a version of themselves, that is not quite the truth, all the while bolstered by alcohol. So do they function? Or do they only function?

Last weeks press commented on a middle class population drinking themselves into ill health and I believe these are the very same ‘functional alcoholics’. The commuters, workers, mums in the school yard – these are today’s problem drinkers it seems ‘responsible for 10 times the costs of young drinkers’ according to Alcohol Concern, ‘unwitting[ly] …taking serious risks with their health’ and drinking their stresses and exhaustion away. Only it doesn’t go away, it sits there ignited into its own need for more alcohol. To drink alcohol to compensate for emotional need is to make a monster.

And this functional behaviour, is this to appear civilized, all the while arguing and stressing behind the scenes?

I meet children of functional alcoholics who are often scapegoated into addictive behaviour themselves. Mutinous they sit in my rooms, often with a parent wringing their hands, bemoaning their loss of potential. And when these children start talking they are angry. They have often been given money to fix emotional need, as it is the currency that enables the parent to feel functional. They have been placed second to the drinking. The lies and secrets that they have been silently asked to keep so that the alcoholic status quo can rule has left them no alternative but to act out, or act in. Welcome to ACOA – the adult child of an alcoholic: self sufficient yet insecure, these children also often feel guilty about their feelings of anger and sense of neglect as they can see their parent is working ‘so hard’ or is ‘so damaged’ or that the child is ‘given everything’ so wherefore this sense of loss, of anger?

But sadly it does not surprise me. The denial in our society is supreme. Drinking is endorsed, celebrated as a badge of strength – caner’s pride – or brushed under the carpet (again) with bullish denial that shames the concerned into silence: ‘it wasn’t that bad’, ‘everybody does it’, ‘lighten up’, or  ‘do you want me to stop drinking and stay at home every night?’ Or some such variation on a theme that employs tactics that minimize, exaggerate, universalise, generalise – whatever they do they ameliorate the fact and park the issue one more time.

It is so very very hard for a family member to bring a concern about a loved one’s drinking – so hard that most people miss the opportunity for early intervention, coming to someone like me when they are on their knees – can you save my marriage / my job / have I ruined my children? But I need to say that the shame, fear and regret does not have to be such a burden if you get help sooner!