Illness

Couldn’t believe it…as I turned the key behind me on Friday night, I almost immediately felt ill. Over the 2 hours commute home I felt worse and worse and by the time I got back I could barely walk. I took cold and flu capsules and took to my bed, only to wake the next morning with a ferocious cough and cold that left me breathless. But I had been meticulously working towards this week for months and was going to put up a fight!

Being ill is always a challenge for people in recovery.  Do you take the meds or not? Should you take ones that make you drowsy or contain codeine? Not a great idea… So where is your bottom line?

Thankfully I have had the good fortune to know an amazing natural healer who has shared many secrets with me over the years, one of which I shall share with you now…

A drink that tastes FAR better than it sounds (it couldn’t taste worse!), this will boost your immune system, and protect many of your main organs including the heart and the liver (it will also get you socially rejected…don’t take it personally!).

Whizz: 3 peeled garlic cloves, 2 unpeeled carrots I stick of celery with leaves, I medium tomato, 1scrubbed sweet potato, unpeeled, & cut into sticks, ½ deseeded Jalepeno pepper, a thumb length of white radish and add water for texture.

Drink twice a day for 3 days!

Good health and happy Christmas!

One year clean and sober, in a letter to her brother, this Charter alumni feels the pain of the family illness…

“A year and a half ago you came to visit me in one of the detox centres I was in and out of, and told me you were scared I was going to kill myself in my active addiction. You were so frightened I would die and at the time I couldn’t and didn’t want to hear you. I was so in it I couldn’t acknowledge what I was doing to myself or to my family.

Thank you for trying though and for being there.

Today I need to tell you how I feel: Its my turn to feel scared that now you will kill yourself with your alcoholism. You and I share the condition of alcoholism/addiction (it’s one and the same) and what I also want to tell you is this: it is soooo possible to have a good quality life without drugs or alcohol!

Though I am the first to understand and the last to judge how you live your life, I am extremely worried for and about you. Frequent drunk driving and destroying our body and health are just two of the many examples of crazy things we both do in active alcoholism/addiction. I can’t continue to stand by and pretend it’s okay, that’s it’s normal and that’s just the way it is- it’s not okay- it’s not normal- and you deserve so much better. You are a beautiful and very special person who deserves a good and happy life.

Before, I couldn’t imagine a life without drink or drugs- what would be left of me?? I was also really scared to stop because then I would have to face my past and my demons and deal with my issues- I thought it would be harder than continuing to use. But nothing is worst than the acute pain of the shame, loneliness and guilt that accompanies active alcoholism/addiction.

Life is not easy but from where I was, I am now generally content and even often happy! And I feel free of that constant shame, guilt, obsession and control- no more lies, I can look people in the eyes (including my family who I adore) and I feel free and hopeful!

THIS IS POSSIBLE FOR YOU TOO!! I believe this 100% and I am so here for you if and when you decide to ask for help. And we can kick this disease in the ass!

I love you and hope to see you soon.”

Recovery Awareness Reception

Our forthcoming Recovery Awareness Reception on October 2nd will be held in alliance with eating disorder experts, Montrose Manor who are based in Cape Town. With a long-standing relationship in collaboration of care we share similar views about addiction – what it is and how it should be treated – and similar frustrations around how the illness is perceived and therefore treated in the UK.

Charter is predominantly designed as a day programme where people can get well in the context of their lives. This is a deliberate design as those addicts I want to work with are not at the critical end of the continuum (though they may feel it) but somewhere in between, where denial still reigns and trouble usually follows. These people, these addicts, are living amongst us, on the tube, at work; they are serving you, picking up the kids, functioning at some level. These are my clients. I work where intervention happens in time for a full and happy life to be possible.

I believe that abstinence is not the goal, but the means, and thus at Charter we work with each client on the core characteristics of addiction rather than necessarily the drug of choice, reducing the risk of devastating relapse and cross addiction.

Addiction is a human condition, it’s relational and it operates on a continuum. Where you are on that continuum plays a huge part in what sort of treatment you will respond best to. The work we do here is extraordinary, consistently turning out sustainable recovery, as evidenced by our thriving aftercare community. It is possible not only to get clean, but also to live a happy and fulfilling life. Aim for the stars…(and don’t stop flapping your wings ‘til you get there!)

One of the reasons I was interested in hosting this event with Montrose was because we need challenging dialogue amongst the thinkers and decision makers who are interested in this incredibly difficult human condition so that addiction is not marginalised to the confines of the extreme cases, but seen in a broader light, often where an opportunity of early intervention lies. (Is this where I mention being able to spot an addict at age 7…?)

My perspective of addiction by SB Kent

A few days ago I discovered that a childhood friend of mine is an “alcoholic”. His family have been a part of my life forever and as a child I had been envious of the love in their house.  My memories of our families together were always “those were the days!”   I had been oblivious to the destruction that went on around me and as I tick into my 40’s I find myself being less and less tolerant of “the good old days” and start to recognise that there was very little good about any of it.

So here I am looking back at all my friends families that helped define who I am today and I realise that those comfy old rooms aren’t quite as comfy as I recall – the wallpaper is definitely peeling off!  It strikes me that there is no such thing as a functioning family.  Addiction captures every household in some shape or form.  For some it is nothing more than an eccentricity, a foible but for others it is entirely consuming.  We all approach it from a different angle, some of us will choose to ignore what’s happening – perhaps they’ll grow out of it, or they might need to just “get a grip or get out!”  Some of us will want to skirt around the issue and others will want to attack it head on.

But we all have one thing in common – we want change but without change!  We look at the person we love and the addiction we hate, we want to keep the person we love and lose the addiction we hate.  We are united in the terror that in losing the addiction we are also going to lose the person.  And so as they head off toward the first step of change we find ourselves siding with addiction. We become overwhelmingly fearful of change.  We’re so busy looking at who our loved one is going to become in the ensuing weeks, months or even years that we lose sight of who they are in the here and now. We’re terrified that this person who we love and know is going to become a happy-clappy-daisy-chasing-Moonie! Perhaps the drinking isn’t that bad, maybe this relationship will turn them around, possibly a little more time – after all doesn’t time heal? And let’s not hide from the financial aspects of curing addiction, that’s definitely on the list!

Several years ago my younger sister came to me to talk, I had long suspected that her world was spiralling out of control and so was relieved when she told me that she needed my help.  We sat at our kitchen table and she told me that she had regularly been using drugs, she had a serious eating disorder and that she could no longer hide the scars of her self-harming.   Over the next hour or so my relief that she was finally sharing gave way to horror (which I tried desperately to conceal from her).  When she was done telling me her life at that moment she asked “Can you help me?”   I panicked, I had suspected that she might have food issues and I thought she occasionally cut herself but I had always envisaged that when this day came I’d be able to help her out with a cup of tea, a little chat and maybe a visit to the doctor.  This was unbelievably out of my league!  I said the only thing that I could – “No, but I have a good friend who can!”

So in answer to all of the above – yes, my sister changed.  She became an incredible, amazing and beautiful being.  She is still vulnerable yet stronger with it, she still relies on friends and family yet she is independent, she’s accepted what she needs to change in herself and what she can’t change in others.  And she can still party without becoming someone she doesn’t like!

And as ugly as it is, I’m closing with the financial aspect.  The phrase “it never rains but it pours” comes to mind, if any of the above is relevant then let me tell you – right now it’s chucking it down and this is the rainy day you’ve been saving for, so get your feet wet!

Stress and Addiction

The fact that stress is causing an increase in alcohol consumption and prescription/over the counter drug use does not surprise me. Sadly though this is a pattern that becomes increasingly habitual and with trouble usually hot on its heels.  We cannot control what happens in life, but I maintain we are responsible for how we behave in response to life’s curve balls. Drinking or numbing yourself from reality – indeed anything that fosters an attitude of fear, procrastination, deceit and denial – will only delay the inevitable, amplified by that delay.  Drinking should be a pleasure not an escape; prescription drugs should medicate diagnosed mental illness, preferably by a psychiatrist or psychologist; over the counter medications should provide temporary relief for physical symptoms- and counselling provides a forum where you can ventilate your emotions and learn how to live apace with the highs and lows in your life without compromising your integrity – now theres a thought!

Charter gains a touch of Alchemy…

UK’s top Addiction Specialists launch Charter Adolescents

Have communications with your adolescent broken down? Do they seem unhappy or anxious?  Are you concerned they may be drinking or using alcohol or other addictive substances? 

Then Charter Adolescents can help.

Research shows that Adolescents are more vulnerable than any other age group to developing, alcohol and other drug addictions in fact drug use is higher among young people than the adult population as a whole[1], yet there are a lack of specialist facilities to help them.

[1] http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/publications/science-research-statistics/research-statistics/crime-research/drugs-misuse-dec-1112-tabs/extent-young-tabs

Which is why Mandy Saligari, Founder and Director of leading London addiction facility Charter Day Care, Residential and Counselling Centres has joined forces with Stephen Noel-Hill of Alchemy to form Charter Adolescents.

Stephen has extensive experience working with adolescents and young people spanning twelve years working at the Priory Hospital Roehampton and Adolescent Units in Holland.

Mandy has a well-established presence in independent schools lecturing on addiction, parenting for prevention and self-esteem. She has long since wanted to set up a service especially for adolescents addressing the issues that are brought to the surface in these school talks.

“Adolescents are particularly vulnerable to self-defeating coping mechanisms, our main aim with this service is to encourage a valuable sense of self, working with the young person and their parents – many of whom just don’t know how to cope with the issues their children are raising or the behavior they are presenting.”

Both Mandy and Stephen understand that that early intervention and prevention are fundamental to successful outcomes. It is this common vision that led them to merge Alchemy into Charter.

Charter Adolescents is an exciting new service that will do what Charter does best: intensive non-residential treatment and multi-disciplined counselling and therapy. The focus is on early intervention, education, emotional development and appropriate referral to give the adolescent and the family a new lease of life.

With a counselling team who are specialists in this area and experienced in work with young people, alongside Stephen’s expertise and Mandy’s guidance, this service will be dedicated to young people.

Working in groups, individual and family sessions and workshops, after school hours and at weekends, Charter Adolescents is an intensive and brief intervention and counselling service targeted to work with addictive disorders and emotional disturbance.

Charter is well established as a leading London addiction facility offering focused, flexible and effective day care for all addictive disorders at competitive rates.

For more information visit www.charterdaycare.com or call 020 73234970 or email  info@charterdaycare.com

Charter Day Care, 15 Harley Street, London W1G 9QQ

 

Press Information

Addiction Experts, Spokespeople, Advice Columns, Latest Research, Case Studies and Images available.

Enquiries: Jenny Rose, jenny@happypr.co.uk M: 07957 551 697.

 

 

 



 

 

Family Groups

Family Group is a very important part of Charter’s addiction treatment programme.  Currently costing just £150pa per family member for unlimited access, the groups provide an introduction to addiction and vital peer and counselling support for family members of an addict.

The familiar position of lose:lose is the domain of the families of addicts, where it is so hard to know what to do as your loved one perpetually holds the proverbial gun to their own head and, finger on trigger, reacts what you say and do.

At Charter we advocate re-establishing a sense of nourishment and self respect in the family member so that they too can make a decision instead of just reacting to a situation:- fire fighting. This takes time and commitment and I am proud to say that we have a core group of hard working family members cementing the changes with their increasing understanding and personal growth. When one person changes, the dance changes. So whether your addict is on board (yet) or not, working in the family group can make all the difference to the possibility and nature of recovery in your life.

We also hold family workshop weekends that provide a more intensive introduction to letting go with love, enablement vs tough love and how to take care of you – many family members recoil from such apparently new age statements (as did my own parents many years ago) – but these workshops have proven to be of fundamental use to those struggling to gain purchase on this slippery and destructive condition in the life of someone they love.

Addiction is all consuming, self centred, provocative and relentless. It takes experience to know how to behave around it, and courage and compassion not to feed it.  The group will support you while you learn…

Charter Residential at Primrose Hill

With a history of relapse and poor management I sometimes wonder at my wisdom of taking on Primrose Hill as we had such a climate of prejudice to overcome.

Fortunately, under the careful and attentive management of Clare Sole, we have been consistently busy there since opening in 2010. I believe we are now gaining ourselves a reputation by earning it as a boundaried, accountable safe housing service for those needing extra support in their recovery journeys.

We have 10 beds and admit males and females from 18-65 years at different stages of their recovery, as long as they are abstinent and actively engaged in a 12 step programme or in treatment. It’s a lovely mid terrace Victorian house, has a support worker in residence and provides a temporary home from home.

We provide drug and alcohol testing, weekly planning and support, cooking support, an introduction to fellowship, community living with therapeutic duties, curfews and peer responsibilities.

Alongside treatment, or as extra support through transitions geographically, work-wise or relationship-wise, Charter Residential provides an extraordinary service that is affordable, effective and grounding.

We work with you to get well in the context of your life.

More About Charter

Charter Day Care was launched in 2008 to provide intensive, effective and affordable addiction treatment in central London, where a person  can get well in the context of their lives. It has been hugely  successful in terms of client numbers as well as quality of recovery,  with a thriving aftercare service that is testament to this fact. Working from a psychodynamic approach and employing the 12 step  method alongside motivational interviewing, gestalt therapy, creative arts and body workshops, somatic experiencing (for trauma) and CBT techniques, Charter has a well rounded and successful treatment  programme.  In 2010 we opened Charter Residential, a 10 bed sober  living house in Primrose Hill with 24/7 on site residential support,  boundaries and community living. This is for people needing extra support either through treatment, some sort of transition ( e.g. geographical or relationship) or through a difficult period.

We treat most addictions including substance misuse, co dependence  and sex and love addiction, bulimia, over eating, work addiction and  crucially involve family members whenever appropriate. Many of our  clients are relapsers who haven’t been able to get well elsewhere, the costs are surprisingly affordable.  Our programme is flexible so  that minimum attendance is one full week after which we can agree a schedule of attendance according to assessment – containment is key  and we will never agree a care plan that we feel sets the client up to fail.

We mean business in terms of recovery and go the extra mile to ensure the quality of recovery gained is sustainable. This is a small and personal organisation where every team member, including admin, knows every client, and where the director and founder is hands on so that you are as likely to see her in group, in an intervention or making the team a cup of tea! We are FDAP accredited and approved with several different insurance companies.

Once you are part of the Charter family, the door is always open.